I can't sleep.

I wish I wouldn't have gotten used to the fact that I have been able to sleep.
Nothing in my life can go right. And I have just made up my mind that life isn't worth all this pain.
There's no point to anything.
Not for me anyways. Everything comes tumbling around me all at once.. I put all my heart, soul, and faith into this. I have wanted this for so long. From day one. I wanted to be here. I just want to be happy. It's just not possible without you. I am pathetic. I still feel the same way I did about you the very first time I realized I loved you. I can still remember the first night I said it to you.. And you said it back. Every memory I have with you is so clear in my head it's scary. I just want all of that back. I'd do anything. And I'd give up everything and anything just to have all of it back.
I am exhausted. And I just can not do this anymore. I Can't. I tried. I just can't. I am sorry.
You don't understand how much this means to me. How much you mean to me. I don't ever want anyone else. I never will. And I know this for a fact.. I just want everything to be okay.
I just want to stop crying.
I just want you.....

life

just has a funny way of falling apart on me...
it's always all at once.
nothing can ever be right.
and i hate it.