Hmfs

I feel so distant from everyone...
I feel so distant from the one person I've never wanted to be distant with.
I just wish I could into hiding forever.
This isn't where I wanted my life to be. I just want to recieve as much from you as I give you. It seems like everytime I think everything is fine. It isn't. I am happy but at the same time I am breaking down. I don't get it. I really don't. I guess I am just scared. Fuck. =/
I have been putting all my heart and faith in this. And once again it seems like it's going to be a waste. And in the end I am going to be hurting worse then I ever have. It isn't fair. I try and be the best person I can. I try and treat others the way I want to be treated. Yet, it always seems like I am getting screwed over. Blah. I hate that I like blogging so much also. It seems like that's what I'd rather be doing constantly rather then going out and "living" my life. I think I am going to start blogging more. I have no one to listen to me. Well, I should probably take that back. I am sure I have someoene to listen to me. But, it's not who I really want to be there teh most for me. I just want to spill my heart out to you like I used to. I want you to wonder if anything is wrong when I seem down. I want you to listen to me and hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay.
I can dream can't I? If anything I am just getting my hopes up for me to obviously fall. Fuck.