Once again

I'm heartbroken by you.
I wish I would've listened to everyone else. For once. I hate this.
I can't do this again.
I wasn't whole to begin with.
Now I just feel everything I have left slipping away.
I do nothing but cry over you.
Why did I not learn from the other times you did this.
I can not blame anyone else but myself for even giving you the opportunity to hurt me like this again.

I just

want this to last that's all.
I am so in love with you it's ridiculous.
I just know that this can turn out to be something amazing and beautiful.
I know it can if only you would try.
I know you have "problems" but I can deal with them.
We can get through it together.
Love is all you need.
It really is.
Just, I know this won't end.

Tonight

was horrible.
How can you love someone but not want to be with them?
How can you say you love someone and say you want a break from them?
Love doesn't take a break.
Love does over power everything.
How can someone say they don't have feelings?
Yet, they do.
I just don't fucking get this.
I feel like shit.
I've been so happy.
I want nothing other than you. And it will always be that way.
I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you. I love you more than anything. Umfs. Please don't leave me. I need you. And I know that you need me. We were meant to be together. And I know that you know that also. I know that you have problems. But, I also know that we can make it through them together.
I try so hard. And I know that you can try too.
I can not handle getting hurt again. I've done it so many times now. I've tried to be without you. It's not possible. We don't need time away from each other. We need more time together. And I know this. Ecks. All we need is each other.
Just please don't leave me.
Please.

I Can't

believe that this could be happening again.
I can't deal with this again.
:(
I love you so much.
I will be different.
I promise.
I won't ask for anything anymore.
I will deal with the way you are.
Please don't leave me.
We ARE perfect for each other. I know we are. I love you so much. And I KNOW that you love me to.

I wish

that my positive attitude would come back.
It's gone.
And I have no one here for me.
I just want someone to listen. Like they used to.
That's all I want.
I just want from him.

What I really wish I could tell you.

That's all I ask for.
I just want our love that I know is still there to become what it once was again.
I am sorry for what I did. I am more than sorry. I would do anything to take it back.
But, I can't.
I didn't think about how much I was hurting you when I did what I did.
I would never hurt you again. I could never even think of hurting you again.
You hurt me, I know it was after what I did to you, so it doesn't make it as bad.
But, no matter what you did to me. I would love you the same.
I just want you to love me like you used to again. That's all I want.
You are the love of my life. You light up everything. I finally found someone who loves me for me. Who I'd do anything for. Who I know I want to spend the rest of my life with. I got scared and hurt you. But, I swear to you on my life that I could never hurt you again.
You are my everything. Basically all I care about. All I want in life. You hold my heart. I just want yours back. I promise with everything I've got that I won't break it again. I've mended it. I know I have, and I will be careful with it this time. I wont ever mess up again. We have so much love for each other. I know we do, I can feel it. I feel the same about you like I did when I first realized I loved you. No matter what you did to me, that wouldn't go away. I know you needed time. And I will be patient with you. I just wish that it wouldn't take so long. I just want to receive more of what I give back. I just want love from you. I just want to make you happy like how you make me happy, That's all I want. I can not imagine my life without you. And I will do everything possible to keep you mine. I don't want to be with any one other than you. And I know you feel the same way. I know you do. I wish I could tell this all to you. I wish that I had to courage to tell you everything that I just wrote down. But, I am too scared. I am too scared to do anything. I am a coward. Gah!
I just want you to feel the same way you did about me before. I know it's possible I do. :[
Just, please, love me the way you did before again. :(((

I just don't understand

why you feel the need to make me feel so shitty. I'd do anything and everything for you. So I guess I just have to get used to it. It's how you are. And as long as you truly love me. I will get used to it. I want to spend my whole life with you, and I will do anything to make that possible. Maybe I just let dumb things get to me. Maybe I am just taking things to seriously. Eh. I don't know. This blog is just a random ramble to help me feel a bit better, I've learned no one actually cares when I am upset anymore, so I don't even want to waste my time trying to find someone to listen to me. So, I don't know. Gah. Goodnight I suppose.

I Wish

that this drama would end.
I am not even involved in it.
But, I am tired of hearing it.
Gah.
FCKD.

I want

a new group of friends.
I don't want to rid myself of all of them.
Only a few.
I just can't handle a couple of them anymore.
Seriously.
I don't know how to go about that though, because we are all in a big group of friends.

This day

Will always mean the same to me. It's when my life truly began. And I will celebrate this day without you if i have to. I just see what happened as a rough patch, but I never lost my love for you. That is why today still means something to me. I just wish it still meant something to you.

इ guess

ठाट इ ऍम गोइंग तो हवे तो गेट उसेद तो थिस। इ जुस्त वांट सम ऑफ़ थे लव ठाट इ गिवे यू बेक। ठाट'स अल। इ जुस्त दोन'टी क्नोव वहत तो दो। इ जुस्त वांट यू तो केयर अबाउट में ठाट वे ठाट इ केयर अबाउट यू। ठाट'स अल। आईटी'डी बे सो नीचे इफ यू दीद।