I don't know how

to compute all of this. I just don't know. I don't want to move away from the place that I grew up. I thought we'd always be there. And even after the flood, i thought that we'd be right there, just in a new house, but hey, we remodled is what I'd tell myself. But, now we have to move somewhere else. I just can not do t his. I don't know why. ecks. And I have no one.. Everyone's walked away from me. I need someone. I need someone now. But, the only person I ever open up to, actually the only person that I trust left me. How the fuck can I get through this. I know it could be worse. But right now for me, this is my worst. If that makes sense. Blah. I think I've lost my mind fo realz this time. I'm starting to not feel like myself again. Fuck.