I think

I'm just going to vanish for awhile. I can not do this anymore. :( I hate everything. I hate me. I want to get away.

I'm pathetic

I know that I am. :(. I love this fucking blog, it's my only friend. Lol.

I hate

you so much right now. I do. I hate that you're making me feel so crappy. I hate how you are making me blame myself when you did all of this. I hate you. You don't deserve any of the love I give you. Yet I still give it. No matter how crappy you treat me you still get it. I hate that I finally opened again and gave someone my heart after I promised that I never would again. I trusted you with it, You said you'd never break it. Yet, you managed to break it more than once. Why do I love you so much? This is not fair at all. Why can't I get over you? I hate that I can't. I've tried so hard. But I can't do it. I want to get over you so bad. Yet, for some reason I am still waiting around thinking that you are going to come around again. Be yourself. But, that isn't going to happen. I need to get that through my stupid head. But, it just won't go through. I hate myself. I hate you.

Everyone

gives up one me too easily. I can't do this anymore. My mistakes have ruined my life. And I just want everything to go back to how it was. I pray so hard for them to. I just want my life back, it was so amazing. I hate myself for everything I've done. I can not stop crying. I can not stop praying. That's all I do. I want to believe that love outstands anything. But, I just don't know. I want to wait for you. I do. But, I no longer want to be a burden on you. :[

I hate

how i put you before anyone else. But, you always put me last. I hate how I have to drop everything to spend time with you only when you want to spend time with me. But, if I asked you to do the same thing there is no way you'd do it. I hate how much effort I put into this when it seems as if you are not putting any in at all. I hate that I love you so much even though you've been putting me through hell. I just want everything to go back to how it was. It can. If you really loved me you'd try as hard as you could. Please. For me?

How to deal

with the fact that the love of you life could leave you at any second? I hate this feeling. I want to be promised that he's never going to leave. I want forever. This hurts so much. You make my world go 'round. You're my everything. God. I feel so strongly about you. I'm so attached even though I am trying not to be. It sucks. I just want to be your everything also. I'd never hurt you again in any way. I can not even think about ever hurting you again.I wish I could say this to your face, but I am too scared to talk about this with you. I do not want you to get mad at me because I am upset. Or not mad, frustrated with the fact that you do not know what to do about this all. I hate having emotions. I wish they would all go away.

It seems

like you have a lot of growing up to do.
You claim you love me, yet you tell me this could all end maybe tommorrow, maybe a month, maybe a year? You say you are afraid of commitment, yet, i know you are not. Why do you do this to me? I'm not asking you to commit anything to me, besides aknowledge that I am your girlfriend. That's all. Fucks. I don't know how to do this anymore. You're the love of my life. I wish I could just stop loving you. My life would be so much easier. You're the most amazing person I've ever met, but, you've also hurt me more than I thought was possible. I am slowly breaking down.

Love

God, I am so head over heels for him. I love him to death. But is it safe to feel this way? I hope it is. You've got me, hopefully he wants to keep me.



[[Obviously he didn't want to keep me]]

Seems

like I'm head over heels about you once again. I find myself terrified though that you are going to turn your back on me once again. I need you in my life. I need your love. I give you so much love that I just don't know what I'd do if you screw me over AGAIN. I do want to marry you. I never even believed in marriage before. I just thought it was nothing more than something to I don't know, keep someone occupied. But, I want to be yours forever, and I want everyone to know that I am yours. Eh, I hope that you catch me.

The scariest thing

in my life happend this morning. I don't want to get into details. But basically it was armed robbery. Eh. This all just made me realize what shit the world is comming to. How people have no respect for one another. How most people are not even decent these days. God I was so scared. So scared. Blah. I wish the world would become a better place.