Everything

Is going good now. I hope it stays this way. I've never wanted anything more than I want this. Maybe this is how it's going to be from now on. Oh my I hope so. No. No. I KNOW so. Everything is so amazing. And I am going to make sure it stays this way. It needs to be this way. Everything is finally falling in to it's correct place. Finally.

I should be happy right?

Or pretend that I am at least. I mean maybe he's doing this because he know it bothers me? He knows I'd do anything for him right than and there no matter the consequences. I know I should work on getting over him. But I just can't. I love him so much. So much. I love him more than I ever thought was possible to love another human. I love him more than I love myself. I'd die for him. I'd do anything honestly. I just want to be with him more than anything. He makes my world go round. Blah. Help me.

I've become

a horrible person. I've lost my only good friend and the love of my life. Everything I love is gone. Everything. I've never been so alone. I never want to be so alone. I just do not get why this is happening. Everything got so much better. Everything was amazing. Why is God punnishing me for everything I have done wrong. I regret everything I did, and I never NEVER regret anything. But, I did not think that I'd ever lose you. I want to be with you forever. You do not want to be with me, so what do I do? I be alone. I honestly will not find anyone better for me than you. Everyone besides you will be a mistake, or something to take my mind off of you. I never ment to hurt you. I never ment to drive you away. I admit that it was me that did this all. I am sorry. I am. I never ment for any of this to happen. I never EVER wanted to lose you. I love you. I do. Nothing will ever change that. I lost myself for a bit, but I realized what I was doing wrong. It was to late? It was apparetntly. I made myself too vaulnurable. I allowed myself to get hurt not once... but twice by you. You are such a great person I didn't think that it could happen again. We all make mistakes and I didn't think you could make such a huge one twice. You did though. And I freaked out on you. Blamed you for everything. Said a lot of things I didn't mean. It's hard to deal with this. It is not even the fact that your regecting me. It's the fact that I love you so much and you are regecting me. I've never loved anyone so much in my entire life. Never. And I never will. I never even knew it was possible to love someone as much as I love you. I don't feel safe unless I'm with you. I don't feel comfort unless I'm with you. I feel nothing but pain, anger, and depression when you're not with me. I can't do this. I want to end my life without you. Call me dumb call me whatever. I don't care. It's how I feel. I need you. I do. :[ I have no one else to give all my love to. I don't want to give my love to anyone else but you. Help me God. Help me.