I don't understand

How you sleep at night knowing you're doing this to me. How each day I die a little more inside. Knowing that I love you to death and would do anything for you and you don't even care? Knowing that we do belong together. I know you know it. Knowing that you just up and left me. Knowing that if you don't give it another chance, there will always be that "what if" feeling at the back of your head, constantly for the rest of your life. There will be oh trust me. Knowing that my heart explodes over and over again each day. Knowing I cry myself to sleep every night. Knowing I'd give up anything just to hear your voice even for a split second. Knowing that YOU were the one who gave up. Knowing that you managed to ruin me. Knowing that I want to give up on life. Knowing that I feel hate twords you which I never thought was possible. Knowing that I'd kill for you. Knowing I can't make it a whole day without crying over you. BLAH. Knowing that I do deserve a second chance. Knowing that now YOU'RE the one being selfish. Knowing that YOU'RE the bad guy now. Knowing that EVERYTHING you went through was pointless since you just pulled this childsish shit in the end. FUCKS WHY CAN ANYTHING GO MY WAY? GOD STRIKE ME TO THE GROUND RIGHT NOW. I CAN'T BE WITHOUT HIM ANYMORE. I DON'T WANT TO BE WITHOUT HIM ANYMORE.