More and More Each Day

I die a little more. I can't do this anymore. I really can't. I don't know how to deal with it. Honestly I don't want to deal with it. Everything is so fucked up. So fucked up. I hate practically everything. When will I be happy again? When will things go my way? Will I be miserable forever? I can't be happy without you. My mistakes made me see that. I can't. You are my everything. You really are. I really believe that we were ment to be together. I can't give up. I won't give up. Should I give up?

I don't understand

How you sleep at night knowing you're doing this to me. How each day I die a little more inside. Knowing that I love you to death and would do anything for you and you don't even care? Knowing that we do belong together. I know you know it. Knowing that you just up and left me. Knowing that if you don't give it another chance, there will always be that "what if" feeling at the back of your head, constantly for the rest of your life. There will be oh trust me. Knowing that my heart explodes over and over again each day. Knowing I cry myself to sleep every night. Knowing I'd give up anything just to hear your voice even for a split second. Knowing that YOU were the one who gave up. Knowing that you managed to ruin me. Knowing that I want to give up on life. Knowing that I feel hate twords you which I never thought was possible. Knowing that I'd kill for you. Knowing I can't make it a whole day without crying over you. BLAH. Knowing that I do deserve a second chance. Knowing that now YOU'RE the one being selfish. Knowing that YOU'RE the bad guy now. Knowing that EVERYTHING you went through was pointless since you just pulled this childsish shit in the end. FUCKS WHY CAN ANYTHING GO MY WAY? GOD STRIKE ME TO THE GROUND RIGHT NOW. I CAN'T BE WITHOUT HIM ANYMORE. I DON'T WANT TO BE WITHOUT HIM ANYMORE.

Blah.

Circles..
Round and round and round and round..
Blah.
Nothing new. Nope. Never.
Fucks.
Everything sucks.

Why is this happening?

Blah. You said you loved me. You said you wanted to be with me. How can feelings like that change withen a night like you claim. How can you throw everything we had away in one fucking day. Why are you doing this to me? I know I did wrong. But, I was going to mend it all. We were going to mend it all. I know that we belong together. I was molded for you, how do you not see it? I try so fucking hard, yet, nothing. Fucks. My heart explodes over and over again each day. I just want to die. I really do. I hate everything because of you. You're all that matters. You really are. Fucks. Why won't you leave my mind? Everything reminds me of you. EVERYTHING. FUCKS. Where'd your heart go? I had it. But, I lost it. Give it back, we'll be happy. I promise. Fucks. Fucks. Fucks. I never knew it was possible to love on person so much. Even when you treat me like shit, I just want you more. Blah blah blah. Everything is wrong without you. You're my center. Blah. Blah.